So I’ve been going through old folders and articles that I filed in lifetimes gone by; having obviously found them interesting enough to hold on to, or perhaps hoping that at a future time I would understand or be able to better relate to their content.
The following was one that made me smile, it was torn out of a very old Cosmopolitan magazine , complete with 90’s fashion photography and colourful borders with block font, itis titled “24 signs you’ve got it together“, some of them seem normal, so I clearly got those aspects down years ago, others I can nod and smile in agreement with; so it seems I can relinquish this one now, coz I get it, and as far as this article is concerned, my shit is sorted.
1. You run into the bitchiest, most popular girl in school and realise you didn’t even have to lie about what you’re up to these days (no Romy and Michele moments for you!). In fact, you’re pretty sure your life is better than hers.
2. You own your own set of tools. No curtain hanging, toilet plunging, or DIY assembly is too much for you. Who needs a man around the house?
3. You don’t live vicariously through your boyfriends. You used to date drummers; now you take drumming lessons.
4. When you first meet your new boyfriend’s parents and they tell you to call them by their first names, you realise you were planning to anyway.
5. You don’t feel compelled to follow every fashion fad – only the ones that flatter you. And you’ll never be fooled into decking yourself out head-to-toe in a trend.
6. You’ve remained friends with at least one of your exes. You’ve really got the together thing happening if you’re also on genuinely friendly terms with his new girlfriend.
7. A dinner-party crisis – scorched alfredo sauce and a sudden realisation that you don’t actually own six wineglasses – doesn’t freak you out. Instead you improvise with a minimalist olive oil dressing and a boho mix-and-match table setting.
8. You know that even if your job, your home and your love life are never perfect at the same time, you’ll still live.
9. You either like your job or have a plan to decide on a dream one… soon.
10. You don’t RSVP ‘Yes’ to every invite. And so you’re fine being the first to leave a party if bored.
11. When you like a guy, you don’t wait for him to make the first move. You ask him out (or at least ask for his email address).
12. You have a close-knit circle of friends, plus a random collection of other male and female mates you’ve met through work, at the gym, or in your cooking classes.
13. Instead of aggressively hinting to your parents to buy you a stunning set of earrings or a new computer, you save up, hit the shops and pay for it yourself.
14. That long-distance friend you felt guilty about not keeping up with for the past five years? Dropped her.
15. A guy you like doesn’t call. Instead of waiting around, crying into a bowl of ice cream, you realise it’s his mistake, not yours – and head out for the night with your friends.
16. When a friend tells you she’s met a new guy, your first question isn’t, “Does he have any friends for me?”
17. Students from your high school or uni call you to ask for career advice and you actually have stuff to tell them.
18. After a hellish day at work or a night with only five hours sleep, you still make it to your Pilates class.
19. When you meet a hot but emotionally bankrupt guy – the type you once would have jumped through hoops for – you think “I dated you already and I don’t ever need to do that to myself again.”
20. When you hear that a friend is pissed off at you, you sort it out by addressing her directly instead of discussing it with your gossipy posse and dragging them into it.
21. You let someone know (discreetly) when they have something in their teeth or their zip is undone.
22. You realise that being in no relationship is better than being in a bad one.
23. You no longer blab on about your low-carb/soup/salads-only-after-6pm diets. In fact, you no longer diet. Period.
24. You can go see a movie on your own on a Saturday night. And have no trouble saying “table for one please”.